


up yours

by skripka



Category: Firefly
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, Medical Procedures, pigu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-25
Updated: 2004-03-25
Packaged: 2019-10-25 07:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17721218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skripka/pseuds/skripka
Summary: "Sorry.""No you ain't.""No, not really. Stay still."





	up yours

"You're late."

"Ain't my fault, Doc. Mal had me lifting..."

"Spare me. You're here now. Drop your pants and bend over."

"What?'

"Jayne. I am your doctor. It's long past time you had a physical. Strip."

"Wait. That don't seem..."

"Jayne."

"Okay, okay. Strippin'. You gonna close the blinds at least?"

"Fine. They're closed. Happy now?"

"What got up your _pigu_?"

"Waiting for you. Possibly dealing with Mal. It doesn't matter."

"Hah! Knew he was being pissy for a reason earlier."

"Jayne. Pay attention. Strip."

"Okay! Now what?"

"Hm. You're really tall, aren't you?"

"Yup. Ate all my nutritional supplements growing up. My mama was real proud."

"I'm sure. You're going to have to just bend over."

"Huh?"

"Look, Jayne, this isn't nearly as fun for me as you think it is. Bend over, so I can reach easier."

"I wasn't going to say nothin'."

"I'm sure."

"Ow! Hey, that's cold!"

"Sorry."

"No you ain't."

"No, not really. Stay still."

...

"You gonna be...done anytime...soon?"

"What's wrong?"

"This ain't really a dignified position, you know."

" _You're_ worried about dignity?"

"Hey!"

"Just a minute, Jayne."

"Hmph."

"All done. Seems good to me. You can put on your pants."

"Really? What am I supposed to do with this?"

"With what?"

"This!"

"Jayne, didn't you ever have the 'birds and bees' discussion with your father?"

"Aw, c'mon, Doc."

"Stop leering at me."

"You sure? Your mouth is certainly pretty enough."

"Do you see this?"

"Yeah?"

"This is your hand, Jayne. Now, go find your bunk, and leave me alone. I need to recover from the traumatic images you just elicited."

"You ain't no fun."

"I'm sure."


End file.
